Sunday, August 14, 2011

Last week at AIMS - Monday

So today was my very last day in Graz, Austria and I am now sitting in a Pension in Salzburg trying to process everything that happened over the summer. I'm not yet ready to post my all-up summary of the summer and AIMS program, but at the very least I can write about that last crazy week.
On Monday I was honored to have been one of eight singers chosen to do an aria read-out with Maestro Edoardo Muller and the orchestra!!! I was one of three women selected to sing the same aria - "O quante volte" - and be given some professional instruction by the Maestro. Maestro Muller has an incredible resume and has conducted at almost every major opera house in the world and worked with the best voices out there. Needless to say, I felt incredibly honored to sing in front of him and receive his critique. I was warned prior to the masterclass that Maestro Muller can be very blunt and has been known to tell singers they will have no career! :( I tried not to worry about that, but instead focus on doing my very best with where I'm at right now and try to take as much out of his critique as possible in a positive way. In his intro speech, Maestro said that if he didn't remember us after 3 hours that meant we weren't going to have a career; that being a successful singer is more about personality than the voice. I took a big gulp, and tried to calm my nerves. So the first girl went up to sing "O quante volte" and after she got through it, Maestro told her she had too much vibrato and a few other things that made me cringe a bit. I made eye contact with the girl that was supposed to sing after me, and we had a moment of "oh crap - what is he going to say to us." When it was my turn, I took a big breath, and made it through the aria, trying to focus on each word and its meaning and the emotion, while trying to enjoy the fact that I was singing one of my favorite arias with an orchestra and a world-class conductor! I thought I did reasonably well - not amazing, but decent. Maestro then turned to me and said that I didn't have enough vibrato. What I was doing was holding my tone at the beginning of each note and then releasing my breath which allowed the vibrato to come through. It's a bad habit I've accumulated over the years of singing early music and choral music - and it's unfortunately what I revert to when I'm not focused on the right things or am tired. Awilda, Evangelina and Darryl have all called me on it, and of course, Maestro Muller identified it right away. It is so frustrating that I can't seem to conquer that bad habit just yet. Breath is so incredibly fundamental to singing; it is life - and it's annoying that I am still holding it. I know in my head that I will always have more breath if I release, but somehow my body doesn't trust that just yet. It is something I have to specifically think about while I'm singing (along with the other gazillion things that are in my head). Until I nail that breath issue, I will always come up short because holding it makes the energy flat and my tone sound dead. Good, consistent, energized breath allows the tone to ring with overtones and sound "alive." It's also what helps a voice carry over an orchestra. While some of Maestro Muller's comments were a bit blunt, I know exactly what he was talking about and am grateful for his good intentions to help me fix something that is holding me back. I had the opportunity to sing through some passages of the aria while specifically focusing on the vibrato/breath issue and the Maestro congratulated me on the progress and told me to keep it up. It was incredibly intimidating to get picked apart in front of an entire orchestra, a world-class conductor and all of the other people (about 30) watching the masterclass, but wow, what a great experience! While I was singing, I couldn't help but think "I am so incredibly lucky to be here right now in this moment. I am in Austria, singing one of my favorite arias while being accompanied by a full orchestra." It was extra special to have my mother in the audience.

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